Finding Your Tribe: How to Identify Individuals with Shared Values
Discovering individuals who share your values can be a transformative experience in both personal and professional spheres. This article explores effective strategies for identifying like-minded people, drawing on insights from experts in human behavior and social dynamics. From intentional networking to observing group interactions, learn practical techniques to build meaningful connections with those who align with your core principles.
- Intentional Networking Reveals Shared Values
- Observe Group Dynamics Before Connecting
- Watch Unscripted Moments for True Values
- Consistent Behavior Indicates Shared Principles
- Create Space for Authentic Connections
- Host Focused Events to Surface Common Interests
- Paid Trial Day Uncovers Work Ethic
- Service Activities Reveal Alignment with Mission
- Value-Based Screening in Early Conversations
Intentional Networking Reveals Shared Values
One of the most effective ways I identify people who share my values and interests is by being intentional long before the first introduction. Instead of showing up and hoping to connect, I research the event agenda and the list of speakers or attendees. I then select the sessions most likely to attract people who share my leadership interests or who are walking similar paths.
For example, if I am focused on building resilient teams, I choose breakout sessions that explore culture, leadership, or employee well-being. The people who choose to be in those rooms have already signaled that they value similar things. By being intentional in session selection, I place myself among leaders who not only share my interests but who are often at a stage of leadership that I aspire to reach.
During the sessions, I pay close attention to the questions people ask and the perspectives they share. These moments reveal what matters to them in practice. Afterwards, I often approach someone with a simple question such as, “What resonated most for you in that discussion?” Their answer quickly shows whether our values align.
The follow-up is where the relationship deepens. I set up a coffee chat or short call to continue the conversation, asking what projects they are most proud of or what challenges they are energized to solve. Their responses highlight both their values and their vision for the future.
Over time, this practice has helped me build a strong network of high-performing leaders who are not only aligned with my values but also challenge me to grow. Because these connections are formed around shared purpose from the start, they tend to be more authentic and lasting than the casual contacts that often come from unstructured networking.
The lesson I have learned is simple: When you focus your networking on the spaces where your values, interests, and future path intersect, you do more than meet people. You build a community of leaders who will walk with you, push you, and help you achieve more than you could on your own.
Gearl Loden
Leadership Consultant/Speaker, Loden Leadership + Consulting
Observe Group Dynamics Before Connecting
I find that identifying individuals with shared values requires genuine engagement in their communities before making connections. My most successful approach has been spending time observing group dynamics first, learning the specific language and priorities of the community, and then offering authentic value without expectation of return. When I implemented this strategy in online communities, it resulted in meaningful professional relationships because people respond to genuine interest rather than transactional networking.
Jeanette Brown
Personal and Career Coach; Founder, Jeanettebrown.net
Watch Unscripted Moments for True Values
I’ve always believed that finding people who share your values and interests is less about running through checklists and more about the conversations you’re willing to have, and the environments you place yourself in.
As the CEO and founder of HelloLesson.com, I spend my days thinking about connections — between learners and instructors, mentors and students, curiosity and knowledge. Early on, I thought our job was purely logistical: match a student who wants to learn piano with a teacher who can play. Over time, I finally realized the real magic happens when the match goes deeper than skills. The student doesn’t just want someone who knows the piano; they want someone who loves music in the same way they do, who shares that value of persistence, joy, and creativity. Like real life 🙂
The same principle applies outside of our platform. One of the best approaches I’ve used to identify people with shared values is to watch how they act when there’s nothing at stake. Do they treat the waiter with respect? Do they give credit to others in a meeting? Do they show curiosity instead of judgment when confronted with something new? For me, values are revealed in the small, unscripted moments — not in someone’s resume or their social media profile.
I remember when we were building the first version of HelloLesson. I had coffee with dozens of potential partners. Many had great technical skills, but I paid close attention to how they spoke about students. One person said, “We’ll have to deal with customer complaints.” Another said, “We’ll have to listen carefully to students, because that’s how we’ll grow.” The second person is the one I wanted on my team, because that perspective showed alignment with our mission of making education more human.
Another practice that has worked for me is storytelling. When I share openly about why I started HelloLesson — the belief that everyone deserves access to a teacher who inspires them — I watch who lights up. People who nod politely may appreciate the business, but people who lean forward, ask questions, and share their own “WHY” are the ones who share my values.
So my advice: don’t overthink the search. Put your story and values into the world, watch carefully how people respond, and pay close attention to their behavior when no one is looking. Shared values reveal themselves, and when they do, you’ll feel it. I bet on it!
Robert Dunfey
Founder, HelloLesson
Consistent Behavior Indicates Shared Principles
Shared values are best identified through consistent behavior. We pay close attention to how someone treats others in every interaction, regardless of their position. Treating everyone with respect and equality strongly indicates whether someone aligns with our principles. Observing actions over time allows us to see the true character behind words and understand how people operate in real situations. Consistency in behavior helps us build confidence in the authenticity of those we work with.
One practice we use is asking people about decisions they regret. Their ability to reflect honestly and take responsibility powerfully reveals their mindset. We value those who focus on learning and growth because they often share our perspective. We can distinguish between rehearsed answers and genuine outlooks by encouraging open and honest discussions. This approach has helped us form strong relationships built on trust and a shared vision.
Ivan Rodimushkin
Founder, CEO, XS Supply
Create Space for Authentic Connections
I believe shared values are rarely discovered in boardrooms. We find them when people step outside their structured roles and connect with something larger than themselves. We often invite visitors to explore the estate and witness the land that has shaped generations of our family. When they notice the details of an ingredient or ask about the product formulations, it shows us their perspective. This simple attention to the environment often speaks more about a person than any formal introduction ever could.
What has worked well for us is creating space for authenticity. People reveal who they truly are when they do not feel the need to impress. Genuine conversations about nature, heritage, or stewardship uncover common ground in a way that structured meetings rarely achieve. By giving people the freedom to engage sincerely, we build lasting connections and values that everyone can share.
Lord Robert Newborough
Founder/Owner, Rhug Wild Beauty
Host Focused Events to Surface Common Interests
I look at behavior, not just words. People reveal their values through how they spend their time, money, and attention. One approach that works is hosting small, focused events—online or offline—around a clear theme. The right people show up, and shared interests surface naturally. It’s faster to build trust in those settings than in broad, unfocused outreach.
Girish Manglani
CEO & Co-Founder, ezcards.io
Paid Trial Day Uncovers Work Ethic
I don’t “identify individuals who share similar values and interests.” I just try to find good people who are the right fit for the team. For a small business, you have to find people who are honest, who have a good work ethic, and who are professional.
The one approach that’s worked well for me is a paid trial day. When I’m looking to hire someone, I don’t just rely on a resume or a formal interview. I get them to come out and work with me or one of my senior staff for a paid day. This allows me to see how they work, how they get along with the team, and what their attitude is like. A resume doesn’t tell you if a person is willing to learn, if they’re disciplined enough to clean up after themselves, or if they’re a good person.
What I’m looking for is a few simple things. I’m looking for a person who is on time, who is willing to learn, and who isn’t afraid of hard work. I’m also looking for a person who isn’t afraid to ask for help and who is honest. These are the values that matter in the trades. You can’t teach a person these things. You either have them or you don’t. The trial day gives me a chance to see that in action.
The impact is on the business’s culture and reputation. By hiring people who share my values, I’ve built a team that I can trust. This has led to better work, fewer mistakes, and a stronger reputation. A client who sees that I hire good people is more likely to trust me, and that’s the most valuable thing you can have in this business.
My advice is simple: you can’t teach a person a good work ethic. You can teach a person a trade, but you can’t teach them to be a good person. Hire based on values and trust your gut. That’s the most effective way to build a strong team that will stand by your work and your business.
Alex Schepis
Electrician / CEO, Lightspeed Electrical
Service Activities Reveal Alignment with Mission
The most effective approach has been engaging people through service-oriented activities before formal discussions take place. When volunteers, partners, or staff candidates join us for events such as mentoring sessions or community outreach, their actions reveal what words alone cannot. Seeing how someone interacts with children, responds under pressure, or supports a team offers a clear picture of whether their values align with our mission.
This experiential approach works well because it creates space for genuine connections rather than scripted exchanges. Shared values become evident in the way individuals commit their time, show patience, or demonstrate consistency in small tasks. Those who thrive in these environments tend to build lasting relationships with our organization, since their interests are anchored in the same purpose that drives our work.
Belle Florendo
Marketing Coordinator, Sunny Glen Children’s Home
Value-Based Screening in Early Conversations
The most effective approach has been value-based screening built into early conversations rather than relying solely on resumes or credentials. During interviews, we include scenario-driven questions that reveal how candidates prioritize patient safety, compliance, and collaboration under pressure. For example, asking how they would respond if a shipment delay jeopardized a client’s access to critical medications quickly shows whether they default to blame, shortcuts, or proactive problem-solving.
What worked especially well was pairing these interviews with short collaborative exercises in small teams. Observing how candidates interact in real time often provides a clearer picture of shared values than any written response. Those who naturally communicate openly, respect regulatory boundaries, and focus on solutions rather than personal recognition tend to align closely with our culture. This method has consistently led us to individuals who integrate smoothly into the organization and sustain the professional standards we consider non-negotiable.
Ydette Florendo
Marketing Coordinator, A-S Medical Solutions
